Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Practices re crafting Aldora's paragraph.

Aldora’s Cross Country Recount
Today we practices refracting a piece of writing. The first paragraph belongs to Aldora and the second is mine.

“On your marks, get set, “Bang” shouted Mr Burt. Off we went trying hard not to bang into each other. I was already muddy. Luckily I didn’t slip like some other girls did at the start line.

“On your marks, get set!’’ Bang! off we went, trying hard not to  bump into each other. Mud was everywhere, all over my face and covering my shoes. Watching my friends fall over, I was laughing very loud!

1 comment:

  1. Hi Iron,

    Wow!! What a great piece of writing you have. Our class has done a great job re crafting Aldora's work. I loved how your Sentence Beginnings were different, you and Asena did a great job. KEEP IT UP IRON!!

    From Sela


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